“It could all be so simple but you’d rather make it hard,” like Lauren Hill said. There are a couple of things that I have learned in my nine years of marriage. The reason people say that marriage is hard is that essentially you’re taking two people with two different upbringings, two different backgrounds with two different belief systems and consolidating them into one life. For most people that is an extremely hard thing to do since you’ve been set in your ways for however many years previous to marriage.
When a disagreement arises most people adhere to the “fight or flight” syndrome. I understand it and it’s easy to do, but this is also where a lot of people fall short. These days people are so quick to give themselves a way out of the relationship rather than sticking it out. When you have both people in the ring and they are both unwilling to leave, that’s when magic happens. Of course we all fall short but then we have to remind ourselves of true happiness vs. a petty disagreement.
One of the most challenging but rewarding things I’ve learned during my marriage is how to compromise. I’ve learned that nobody will have our backs like each other does. I’ve learned that winning the battle isn’t always winning the war. Sometimes your little “low blows” that you so badly want to throw for instant gratification will only hurt you in the end. I’ve learned that being vulnerable is freedom. The most beautiful thing to have is someone who knows you inside and out. Ultimately, knowing that you two are on the same team will help you build a successful relationship day by day.